It’s normal for a person’s sex drive to fluctuate. For example, libido might be strong at the start of a new relationship, when everything is new and exciting. It might diminish in certain situations, like in times of stress, anxiety, or relationship conflict. Sex drive may decrease as a person gets older, as the body produces smaller amounts of sex hormones.
Sex drive is also quite subjective. Some people want to have sex several times a week; for others, once a month might be enough. One is not more “normal” than another.
However, a person might be troubled by a drop in sex drive, especially if they have had a strong libido in the past. They might miss the intimate connection with a partner and wonder what to do.
If low sex drive is causing distress, that is a good reason to talk about it – to a doctor and your partner.
The first step is figuring out why you’re less interested in sex. There could be several reasons, and sometimes there is more than one cause. Underlying health problems, both physical and psychological, may combine with stress or depression or poor communication in a relationship.
You might start by seeing your primary healthcare provider, who can do a thorough medical exam. He or she can also refer you to a specialist or therapist, if necessary.
On the slides that follow, you’ll find links to more information about libido and factors that can affect it. This list is not exhaustive, but it can help you learn more.
Aging and Hormones
Does a person’s libido/sexual desire necessarily decline with age?
What is genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM)?
How is genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM) treated?
Do men go through male menopause?
What is low testosterone? What are the symptoms and how is it diagnosed?
More helpful links
Is a person’s sex drive genetic/inherited?
What are sex therapists? What do they do?
What happens during sex therapy?
How does one find a sex therapist?
Resources
PsychologyToday.com
Watson, Laurie J, LMFT, LPC
“Four Rules for a Productive Sex Talk with your Partner”
(September 23, 2017)
Self.com
Todd, Carolyn L.
“How to Know If You Should Talk to Someone About a Low Sex Drive”
(May 22, 2019)
https://www.self.com/story/get-help-low-sex-drive
SexHealthMatters.org
“Coping with Mismatched Sex Drives”
(June 3, 2018)
https://www.sexhealthmatters.org/sex-health-blog/coping-with-mismatched-sex-drives
“What’s Causing Your Low Sex Drive?”
(June 6, 2017)
https://www.sexhealthmatters.org/sex-health-blog/whats-causing-your-low-sex-drive
SheKnows.com
Pfeuffer, Charyn
“How to Talk to Your Partner About Having a Low Libido”
(July 25, 2018)
https://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1140466/how-talk-partner-about-low-sex-drive/