Sexual interest/arousal disorder (SIAD) is considered the most common sexual dysfunction (SD) in women, presenting in 39% of American women and 40% of Canadian women. It’s characterized by low sexual desire or low sexual arousal over a period of at least 6 months. Both women with SIAD and their partners report higher levels of sexual distress, which is another key characteristic of the SD. It has been suggested in recent research that couples’ emotional regulation plays a very important role in determining the ability to cope with SIAD and accompanying sexual distress, based on the Interpersonal Emotion Regulation Model of Women’s Sexual Dysfunction. This suggests that both partners’ emotional regulation strategies could lead to lower levels of sexual and psychological distress, as well as higher levels of relationship satisfaction.

Self-compassion integrates self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness as a way to change how an individual responds to distressing situations. In this case, self-compassion could be integrated into treatment as a way to mitigate sexual distress in couples coping with SIAD.

To test this theory, researchers assessed 249 couples with average ages between 34 and 35 from Canada and the United States that were coping with SIAD. Couples were both heterosexual and gender or sexually diverse, with at least one partner who is a woman or who was assigned female at birth, in order to assess if there are any significant differences between minority and majority groups. Couples were verbally surveyed twice with six months between each survey. Researchers utilized the State Self-Compassion measure, the Sexual Distress Scale-Short Form, and the Couples Satisfaction Index.

 Researchers found that when both partners in heterosexual couples reported higher levels of self-compassion, the woman experiencing SIAD reported lower sexual distress. Additionally, they found that only the male partner’s level of self-compassion affected his own levels of sexual distress. That is, higher self-compassion was associated with lower distress. The researchers suggest this may be because self-compassionate partners are less likely to take their partner’s low sexual desire personally.  This could also reflect the supportive nature of self-compassion, which includes a greater willingness to help loved ones in need, potentially easing the emotional impact of the situation. Additionally, higher levels of guilt often experienced by those coping with SIAD or other SD may mean they feel more secure in the context of lower levels of distress in their partner, as well as by the support and care provided to them.

When one or both members of a couple were sexually or gender diverse, it was found that higher levels of self-compassion had a negative correlation with the partner’s sexual distress levels. Meaning, that as both partners had more self-compassion, the sexual distress of the partner of the individual with SIAD lessened. Researchers attribute this phenomenon to the minority stress theory, referring to repeated stigma or prejudice having a specific and long-term effect on physical and mental health. Basically, traits that make self-compassion beneficial to those with SIAD are also often present in sexually and gender diverse individuals. This would explain why partners of individuals with SIAD in sexually or gender diverse couples were more likely to benefit from self-compassion. They are dealing with one less instigator of emotional overload than their partner with SIAD, who is likely dealing with both SIAD and stigma surrounding minority status.

Interestingly, at the six-month follow-up period, no change was found in levels of sexual distress, suggesting that self-compassion may only be effective in mitigating sexual distress in the present moment, but not as effective over longer periods of time.

Conclusion

Overall, greater self-compassion was shown to have immediate positive effects on sexual distress in couples coping with SIAD, as well as the partners in sexually or gender diverse couples coping with SIAD. However, in the long-term self-compassion does not show any major change.

Despite a smaller sample size and potential for recall bias due to in-person interviews, researchers say this first-of-its-kind study may inform clinical practices in the treatment of couples coping with SIAD, citing self-compassion and the inclusion of partners as a beneficial addition to existing cognitive therapies.

References:

• Massé-Pfister, M., Rosen, N. O., Bigras, N., Girouard, A., Perrier-Léonard, D., & Bergeron, S. (2025). Cross-sectional and prospective associations between self-compassion and sexual distress in couples coping with sexual interest/arousal disorder. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 22(3), 404–415. https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdaf007