Many couples add spark to their sexual routines through role playing. They might explore fantasies by pretending to be different people (a random stranger, an appliance repair person, a boss at the office, a teacher and student, for example). They might extend the game and imagine that they are in a certain place, like an elevator, beach, or conference room. Or, they might dress up or use props, like handcuffs or sex toys.
Such activities can be fun ways to explore sexual fantasies in a safe environment.
Role playing can be exciting, but it is important for both partners to consent to the plan.
Having a conversation about role playing is a great place to start, especially if you and your partner have not tried it before. You might feel awkward at first, but you might also be pleasantly surprised about your partner’s feelings.
You might start by saying something like, “I love what we do in the bedroom, but have you ever thought about exploring some fantasies?”
Together, you and your partner can have fun deciding what to try and how to do it. You can search the internet for new ideas, too.
However, one key to successful role playing is mutual agreement. Both partners need to consent to the activities.
For example, a person might fantasize about BDSM (bondage-discipline, dominance-submission, sadism-masochism) behaviors, which might involve restraint, pain, or humiliation. They might want to take a dominant or submissive role, or switch roles depending on the situation. But if the other partner is uncomfortable with BDSM, then the couple will need to shelve the idea or find a way to compromise.
Couples may also consider using safe words or phrases to signal that an activity is heading in an uncomfortable direction. At that point, the partners can stop and re-negotiate the activity so that they can both enjoy it.
