What Is the Best Way to Approach a Sexual Dry Spell in a Relationship?

What Is the Best Way to Approach a Sexual Dry Spell in a Relationship?

Every relationship experiences ups and downs, and one aspect that can pose challenges in a relationship is a sexual dry spell. A sexual dry spell occurs when a couple faces a prolonged period of reduced or absent sexual activity. While this is a common occurrence, it can be a source of concern and stress for many couples. These are some of the best ways to approach a sexual dry spell in a relationship, as well as some insights and tips to help couples navigate this challenging phase.

Understand the Potential Causes

Before delving into strategies, it is a good idea to understand the potential causes of a sexual dry spell. Relationship experts often cite factors such as stress, communication issues, hormonal changes (affecting one’s libido and/or the sensations they experience during sex), and external pressures as contributors to sexual dry spells. Recognizing these factors allows a couple to take the first step towards addressing the underlying issues that may be causing the dry spell.

Remember Communication Is Key

Effective communication is fundamental in any relationship, and it becomes even more critical during a sexual dry spell. Partners should openly discuss their feelings, desires, and concerns. Honest communication can help uncover any hidden issues affecting intimacy, allowing both individuals to work towards a solution collaboratively. A safe and non-judgmental space should be created for these conversations, fostering understanding and connection.

Emphasize Quality Over Quantity

Emphasizing the quality of sexual experiences over quantity is a good practice at all times, but especially during a sexual dry spell. That is to say: instead of focusing on the frequency of sexual encounters, couples should explore ways to enhance the quality of the intimate moments they have together. This might involve trying new things, experimenting with fantasies, or taking time to rediscover each other’s desires. Quality intimate moments can strengthen the emotional bond between partners, creating a foundation for a more satisfying sexual connection and potentially more frequent sexual encounters moving forward.

Prioritize Emotional Connection

While physical intimacy is important, it is equally important to prioritize emotional connection. Spending quality time together, engaging in activities that bring joy to both individuals, and nurturing emotional intimacy through hugging, cuddling, and kissing can contribute to a more fulfilling relationship. Emotional connection often lays the groundwork for a rekindled sexual spark, making it a valuable focus during a dry spell.

Address Health Concerns

Sometimes, a sexual dry spell can be linked to health issues affecting one or both partners. For example, depression or anxiety can lead to a lack of interest in sex, hormonal imbalances may result in reduced libido, and so on. This is why it is essential to address any physical or mental health concerns that might be impacting a person’s sex drive or overall well-being. Talking to a primary care provider and addressing any health issues can contribute to a healthier, more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Seek Professional Support

If a sexual dry spell persists and communication alone does not resolve the issue, seeking the guidance of a sex therapist or mental health professional is a practical option. Relationship counselors and therapists can provide a neutral and supportive environment for couples to explore underlying emotional and sexual issues and develop strategies for overcoming challenges and rebuilding intimacy.

Experiencing a sexual dry spell in a relationship is a common challenge, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent state. By understanding the causes, prioritizing communication, focusing on quality over quantity, emphasizing emotional connection, addressing health concerns, and seeking professional guidance when needed, couples can navigate through this phase and rediscover a satisfying intimate connection.


  • McCarthy, B. W., & McCarthy, M. (2018). Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages. Routledge.

  • Mark, K. P., Lasslo, J. A., & Milhausen, R. R. (2011). Infidelity in heterosexual couples: demographic, interpersonal, and personality-related predictors of extradyadic sex. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40(5), 971-982.

  • Perel, E. (2006). Mating in captivity: Unlocking erotic intelligence. HarperCollins.

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