Should I Schedule Sexual Activity With My Partner?

Should I Schedule Sexual Activity With My Partner?

Maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship is important for many couples. However, as life gets busier and a person’s responsibilities increase, some couples may find themselves questioning whether scheduling sexual activity is a practical solution. The following article explores the pros and cons of scheduling sexual activity with your partner, shedding light on different aspects of this approach.

Pros of Scheduling Sexual Activity

  1. Prioritizing Intimacy: In today’s fast-paced world, hectic schedules can lead to the neglect of intimate moments. Scheduling sexual activity allows couples to prioritize each other and allocate dedicated time for intimacy, fostering a deeper connection.
  2. Reducing Stress and Pressure: Knowing that a specific time is set aside for intimacy can alleviate the stress and pressure that is sometimes associated with spontaneous encounters. Couples may find that scheduled sessions allow them to relax knowing that they have an intimacy date on the calendar. This scheduled time may also provide a relaxed and comfortable environment for couples that is free from interruptions and conducive to open communication and exploration.
  3. Increased Frequency: Busy lives often result in irregular or infrequent sexual encounters. Scheduling can help couples increase the frequency of their intimate moments, ensuring that physical connection remains a consistent part of the relationship.
  4. Anticipation and Excitement: Knowing when a sexual encounter is planned can build anticipation and excitement. This sense of anticipation can enhance arousal levels and contribute to a more fulfilling experience when the scheduled time arrives.

Cons of Scheduling Sexual Activity

  1. Lack of Spontaneity and Passion: One of the drawbacks of scheduling sexual activity is the potential loss of spontaneity. Spontaneous moments can be filled with passion and excitement, and adhering strictly to a schedule may reduce the thrill of unexpected encounters.
  2. Performance Pressure: Setting a specific time for intimacy might inadvertently introduce performance pressure. Partners may feel the need to meet expectations during their scheduled session or adhere to a predetermined script, which can hinder the natural flow of the experience.
  3. Mismatched Libido Complications: Couples with different sexual interest levels may find scheduling challenging. One partner may feel pressured to conform to the other’s schedule or desired sexual frequency, potentially leading to frustration and resentment.
  4. Routine and Boredom: Overreliance on a schedule may turn intimate moments into routine activities, possibly leading to boredom. A lack of spontaneity can make the relationship feel predictable and less exciting.

Deciding whether to schedule sexual activity with a partner is a personal choice that depends on a couple’s preferences and the dynamics of the relationship. While scheduling can provide structure and ensure regular intimate moments, it may be a good idea to balance this approach with spontaneity and flexibility. Communication between partners is key to understanding each other’s needs and desires.


  • Gurman, A. S., & Fraenkel, P. (2002). The history of couples therapy: A millennial review. Family Process, 41(2), 199-260.

  • McCarthy, B. W. (2016). Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages. Routledge.

  • Mark, K. P., & Jozkowski, K. N. (2013). The mediating role of sexual and nonsexual communication between relationship and sexual satisfaction in a sample of college students. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 39(5), 410-427.

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