Why might sex become less satisfying as people age?

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For some people, sex becomes less satisfying as they get older, for a variety of reasons. For example, changes in health and relationships may start to take a toll on sexuality.

The following slides describe some of these changes. But it’s important to remember that getting older does not mean the end of one’s sex life. Many couples find that, like many things, sex gets better with age.

Physical Factors

Hormonal changes. After menopause, women’s bodies produce less estrogen, a hormone important for vaginal health. This situation can cause vaginal dryness and uncomfortable intercourse.

Some men go through hormonal changes as well. Their bodies gradually produce less testosterone, often leading to fatigue, erectile difficulties and less interest in sex.

Health conditions in either partner. Illnesses like diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer, and arthritis – as well as medications that treat them – can affect sexual function.

Relationship Factors

Lack of a partner. Many older adults are single. A partner may pass away, or a couple may decide to divorce or split up. As a result, people may not feel ready to start new relationships. Or, they may find it difficult to meet new partners.
Familiarity or boredom. Sex may become routine for couples who have been together for a long time. They may not feel comfortable expressing their needs or trying different sexual activities.

Psychological Factors

Depression. Given the changes that life brings, depression is not uncommon when people get older. Some are grieving the loss of partners or friends. Others may develop health issues and miss doing some of the activities they once enjoyed. These feelings can diminish sexual interest.
Performance anxiety. Satisfying one’s partner is a common concern, especially if a person has not had sex in a long time or if a couple is just starting a sexual relationship.
Body image concerns. Many worry that their changing body will not be attractive to their partner, and that anxiety may lead to sexual problems.

While many couples need to make adjustments – giving themselves more time to become aroused, for example – older age can also be an exciting time to be having sex. Some couples find sex is better at this time. If adult children have moved out of the house, they may have more privacy. They may not have to worry about unplanned pregnancy, if a woman is past menopause.

Older age can be a good time to experiment, both sexually and socially. If you have concerns about sex and relationships, talk to your doctor. Issues like vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction (ED) can be treated. Seeing a sex therapist may also help.

See these links to learn more:

What are some of the physical changes that may affect sexual health as people age?

What are some social sexual health concerns for people as they get older?

Resources

Harvard Medical School

“Attitudes about sexuality and aging”

(Updated: March 17, 2017)

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/attitudes-about-sexuality-and-aging

Menopause, via PubMed

Harder, H., et al.

“Sexual functioning in 4,418 postmenopausal women participating in UKCTOCS: a qualitative free-text analysis”

(Abstract. Published: July 8, 2019)